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Everyone wants something from Marilyn Monroe. She is the ideal canvas tounleash theories or fantasies. It’s part of her iconic status as an actress,sex symbol and cultural phenomenon. Sixty years after her death – she died ofan overdose of tranquilizers at the age of 36 – she still appeals to theimagination.

If everyone is pulling you, trying to touch you, color you, who are you? It isa central question in blonde the Netflix film by Andrew Dominik, whichpreviously included Killing Them Softly (2012) and The Assassination ofJesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) directed.

blonde shows Norma Jeane, as she was called, as a woman without an anchor.Her self-image is severely damaged during her miserable childhood and becomesincreasingly fragmented. Of course, it doesn’t help that she’s created analter ego, the ever-radiant Marilyn Monroe.

blonde is not a biopic. The film is based on the 2000 novel of the same nameby Joyce Carol Oates, who took plenty of creative liberties to get insideMonroe’s head. The book contains, among other things, invented diaryfragments, letters and poems. In a similar way, designed as a subjectivepalace of mirrors, Dominik guides the viewer through the possible thoughts andmemories of the tormented movie star.

What blonde wants to make clear is how degrading it is to be publicproperty, however disruptive it may be, especially if there is no stablefoundation. Dominik succeeds brilliantly in this. His film is a nightmarishdescent into the hell that was Monroe’s life: she was repeatedly abused, bothphysically and mentally. While her intelligence and acting talent werechronically underestimated, the traumas piled up. No wonder she took refuge inever heavier drugs.

Dominik uses a baroque, alienating style. At times it seems like a contest incurious camera angles (the scene from the womb wins), but it’s inventive, andoften compelling. In all that visual violence, actress Ana de Armas is theemotional center. The Armas is so good—all nerves and fragility anddevastation—that you can’t help but worry about her mental state. Her actingis a tour de force that involves either complete surrender or incredibletechnique – Oscar-worthy in both cases.

The vision of blonde on Monroe it is clear: she was a victim of her time andher environment. That is of course against the wrong foot of people who wouldhave liked to see something different. A feminist heroine who exudes power,for example, or just something a little more cheerful – something that doesn’tmake the film feel nauseous or partly guilty. Some critics accused Dominik ofexploiting Monroe in his own way, showing her in all her vulnerability.

The irony is that blonde it is precisely about this penchant forappropriation. Marilyn Monroe doesn’t belong to all of us, Dominik showsimpressively. blonde shows a Monroe (not the Monroe) who simply can’t liveup to our expectations because it rips her to shreds.

TV“Difficult. A difficult episode. Very lucky.” Bart Cannaerts, after hissixth victory out of eight participations, was critical of his ownperformance. It says a lot about newcomer Julie Colpaert and about LotteVanwezemael, neither of whom could really threaten Bart for even one second.

The fourteenth chapter in the search for ‘The Very Smartest Man’ was notimmediately of a high standard. Rather one to quickly forget. Suddenly thequestion rounds turned out to be very difficult and the scoring was bad. Noneof the three candidates managed to reach the 300-second mark. That alreadysays a lot…

Perhaps something had to do with decompression after the passage of HurricanePrem Radhakishun, which left the other candidates, the studio audience andeven Erik Van Looy a bit blank after his rather logical loss. Although therewas actor and ever guided projectile Stefaan Degand to quickly fill that void.

It was Julie Colpaert who was given the honor of succeeding Prem. She did thatin her own way. Although the shadow of twelve participations, which made herthe second best scoring candidate ever in 2018, weighed a bit heavy. There wasstress, there were nerves. And of course there was that phenomenon BartCannaerts. He couldn’t really make a difference with the ladies during theregular quiz rounds and even lost time during the photo round.

The surprise was in the video round, which for once could not make thedifference. None of the three candidates managed to grab a 40 or 50 secondbonus. Julie Colpaert still stood her ground with her video about theelimination of Al Quada leader Al-Zawahiri, but nobody knew much about GeorgeMichael and Ashleigh Barty. Until the very last fragment for Bart, about theformer Australian number 1 in tennis, Lotte and Julie still had the chance towin. They didn’t. And so Bart won, with his heels over the ditch and with avery meager final score.

Fortunately, the ladies afterwards provided a super exciting final. Lottestarted perfectly with five correct answers, but then fell completely silentwith exactly two correct answers to five questions. Julie could play out withthe names of the secretaries-general of the UN, didn’t, but lowered the scorevery strategically, only to play out smoothly. As far as pure quiz isconcerned, a lesser episode, as far as jokes and pranks are concerned, thanksto Stefaan Degand and Barbara Sarafian, still a satisfactory one.

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The best quotes

Julie (whether she could become the Smartest Human Being): “No. It was amiracle that I got this far back then. My husband always says I could hideEaster eggs from myself. I forget everything. I have now studied for fourdays. Too little, too short.”

Lotte (what she expects from Julie): “Spicy woman who knows a lot. And withher job…” To which Degand immediately strikes when Lotte tells that herparents are in the audience. “What was she like as a child? Zozo? What do you

The moment Ana de Armas first appears as Marilyn Monroe in ‘Blonde’, aroundthe 17th minute, we froze in our seat: because Ana is Marilyn! She really doeslook like her!

Erik StockmanWednesday, September 28, 202212:00

Admittedly not like two drops of water: in her voice you can hear a hint of aCuban accent – the Armas was born in Santa Cruz del Norte – and hopefullyno one will blame us when we notice, walking on eggshells as carefully aspossible, that the slender Ana lacks a certain, er, fullness in the physicalsense. And yet there is something of the magic of the real Marilyn aroundher. Her childlike innocence, her sparkling wit, her unrelenting charm, herendearing sheepishness (like when Marilyn has no idea how to eat a boiledegg), the garland of tragedy that hangs around her: all the characteristics wehave learned over the years. , rightly or wrongly, we have come to associatewith Marilyn, we find very beautiful back in the rendition of the Armas. Herewith that Oscar nomination!

It’s a shame that the film is not aware of the performance of the leadactress. It’s not often that we shy away from a blonde – gentlemen preferblondes , not true! – but on this ‘Blonde’ we were finally blown away. Thefirst point of discussion is the approach: director and screenwriter AndrewDominik Without much sense of nuance, Marilyn portrays Marilyn in ‘Blonde’as an innocent little bird released into the hell of patriarchal Hollywood.Already in one of the first scenes we see how Marilyn is raped during anaudition without a boo or yuck by a studio boss who goes by the name ‘Mr Z’:hmmmm, could it be Daryll F. Zanuck the big boss of Twentieth CenturyPictures?

In the most shocking scene, the president, stretched out on a hotel bed, grabsKennedy Marilyn by the curls and he forces her into a blowjob in a longheld sickening shot. It could well be that Marilyn actually had to undergothose humiliations, but a disclaimer is appropriate here: the scenes inquestion do not arise from facts, but from fiction, rumors and fictions.’Blonde’ is based on a novel by Joyce Carol Oates , who used Marilyn’slife as the basis for an (allegedly splendid) work of fiction. Anyway, byportraying Marilyn as a butterfly mortified, abused, exploited, and ultimatelydestroyed by maledom, Dominik joins an expanding movement that hasposthumously proclaimed Marilyn a martyr of feminism.

“Look at what happened to Marilyn!” this is how you could summarize themessage of that movement (and of ‘Blonde’). “Look at the brutality she had toendure, and you’ll see why feminism was desperately needed!” Or like thewriter Nancy Friday it said, “Look closely at Marilyn’s life, girls.Because this is what happens to you when you let yourself be treated as a sexobject!’ Correctamundo, correct and completely true, but the devil’s advocatein us would like to throw a question into the group: Doesn’t that approachignore the fact that Marilyn was much more than just a martyr?

Don’t forget: for every soul who proclaims Marilyn a martyr of feminism, thereis a biographer who portrays her as an ambitious, intelligent woman who knewperfectly that her value lay in her curves and her curves. And wasn’t she alsoa great performer who had the unique gift of enchanting the whole world? Put100 Flemish and international celebs on stage and have them perform ‘I WannaBe Loved By You’, and we’ll give you a note that none of them will be able tomatch Marilyn’s version – even Harry Styles not, if he put a blond wig onhis crown. But for those qualities – her engulfing naturalness on the bigwhite screen, her magnetic appearance, yes even her acting talent that bubblesunder the skin – ‘Blonde’ remains completely blind.

In ‘Blonde’ we see how the gifted Marilyn is reduced to a sex object by mostmen, but the question is: does not Dominik make the same mistake by portrayingher in most scenes as a ruthless romper? Anyway: enough material to put up asturdy tree in the cafe afterwards. But you know, overall, it’s not evenDominik’s slightly narrow-minded angle that troubled us. No, it is mainly hisfilm style that we have been rejected. Instead of opting for a classicbiographical account, Dominik tries to draw us into a slightly surreal streamof images with his dreamy photography and his trance-inducing music score.

In that respect ‘Blonde’ can actually be compared well with ‘Spencer’, theidiosyncratic biopic that pablo Larrain last year made over LadyDi. Dominik also used that poetic style in 2007’s ‘The Assassination ofJesse James By the Coward Robert Ford’, with wonderful results, but this timehe misses the point in most scenes. During an abortion, the cinematographergives us a point of view shot from Marilyn’s vagina, and during the blowjobshe gives to JFK, images of surface-to-air missiles actually pass through – asif we are in a ‘The Naked Gun’-esque farce – like phalluses pointing upwards.Okay, there’s nothing wrong with a little comic relief, but the momentMarilyn’s unborn fetus starts talking out loud, we thought: okay, Andrew, nowit’s enough with your imagery-of-licking vest.

Finally, one more thought. We wouldn’t want to feed them, all those writers,essayists, journalists and filmmakers who have been researching, commenting,analyzing, claiming, interpreting and reinterpreting Marilyn’s life since herdeath on August 4, 1962. But we may never know who she really was. We’d loveto offer her a gin fizz and have a chat with her, but hey, she’s been underthe sod for 60 years. Hopefully she rests in peace.

The fair will take place in Ell from 1 to 4 October 2022. At Eetcafé DePrairie, three fantastic cover bands will perform during the fair.

fairground Ello

SaturdayOctober 1 Cover band Da Vinci We are pop formation Da Vinci. In our permanent formation we perform withseven very experienced musicians. All this combined with singers WendyOverklift and Esther Snijders and singer/accompanying guitarist Franky Tuasuunon the vocal front, who ensure the nice appearance and the great entertainingcharacter of the band.

Da Vinci not only brings the Rock, Pop and Disco classics, but takes you on amusical journey through all music styles with artists such as Barry White,Tina Turner, Bruce Springsteen, Marco Borsato, Kiki Dee, Mr Mister, Van Halen,Dolly Parton, Stevie Wonder, Pink, Eurythmics, Total Touch, Phil Collins, PatBenatar and many, many others. We characterize ourselves in this by playingmany medleys, which results in a constant flow of beat and music. Thisprovides a musical competition on the dance floor that heightens the partyspirit! Da Vinci is always busy adding new songs or other useful ideas to therepertoire. Hall open from 8.30pm.

Sunday 2 October Experience Experience, consisting of experienced musicians playing music repertoire fromthe 60s and 70s. We mainly play older songs from The Kinks, Rolling Stones,Golden Earrings, Sandy Coast, The Shadows, BeeGees, The Free, The Eagles,Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Byrds etc. But every now and then a morerecent song pops through. . Let yourself be surprised. Hall open from 5 p.m.

Monday October 3 Fever of Life Since its formation in 2005, this band from the Roermond region still has onlyone goal: to remind the public of the music from the 70s and 80s. Songs fromSteely Dan, Status Quo, Ram Jam, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles and othersrock bands are the repertoire of Fever of Life. “It’s nice to hear such youngmusicians make this music”, is a frequently heard compliment during theperformances. With their dates of birth just in the eighties, the repertoireis indeed largely composed with records from father’s LP collection. And itcannot be otherwise than these LPs have also contained many live albums…

The band is now also a welcome guest at festivals, where music lovers canindulge in tasty guitar riffs and solos that are improvised on the spot. Thatmakes a performance always surprising and 100% fair. What you see is what youget! The band’s achievements are performances with frontman and singer Walter”Witte Waanzin” Nita and performances with René Innemee & Band. “Having thesemen share their experience and musicality with us is both an honor and arecognition,” the band said.

An evening of Fever of Life is back to the days of guitar riffs and solos, butalso moments to sing and dance along. Public participation is expected! Hallopen from 8 p.m.

Traffic measures Fair Ell Scheijmansplein and part of Sebastiaanstraat will be closed from Wednesday 28September to 12:00 Wednesday 05 October 2022 in connection with theconstruction, demolition and holding of the fair. The closed part of theSebastiaanstraat concerns the part between the Hoogstraat and theLuytenstraat. As a result, the one-way restriction on Luytenstraat will betemporarily reversed. The one-way street will then be temporarily accessiblefrom Sebastiaanstraat.

Viewers of Four hands on one belly went from one surprise to another lastnight. The reason for this was 19-year-old Sharona and her boyfriend Arjen(38) who are about to become parents. In addition to the age difference,smoking, Sharona’s daytime activities and the approach of the couple alsoraise questions among the viewing public.

Arjen and Sharona met at a party and after two months a baby was on the way.Özcan Akyol and his wife Anna van den Breemer visit the parents-to-be to passon their parenting knowledge.

Pregnant Sharona (19 years old): ‘I always wanted to be a young mother…so> that you can watch your baby grow up’ #Hurry> up Oh> girl, you can still do that if you have a child at the age of thirty! #four> hands on a> belly>> — Janna de Bruin ג’אנה (@jannareintje) September 27,> 2022

Sharona and Arjen amaze Four hands on one belly viewers

It soon becomes apparent that Sharona still smokes about ten to fifteencigarettes a day during her pregnancy. About which she explains that if shehad something to do, she might smoke less. “But if I’m home all day…”, Sharonasays. Because Sharona’s day is mainly filled with cleaning and watchingNetflix. After a conversation with a pulmonologist and seeing a placenta fromanother smoking parent, the couple decides to stop.

But Sharona had a lot on her plate in her youth. She previously struggled withdepression, she was suicidal and her insecurity dominated her life for a longtime. “I thought I was ugly and fat.”

Smoking during pregnancy.. that was a while ago in this program, but they> are still there 🥲😕> #vhoeb> #four hands on a> belly>> — Romy⚽️🤘🏼 (@missxromy2) September 27,> 2022

Viewers are concerned about smoking and approach to couple

Although the baby’s heart rate is too high during delivery, baby Dexx is bornhealthy. And Sharona and Arjen turn out to be proud parents. In the end, theyoung mother also manages to get a job at a local lunchroom. And Sharona turnsout to be very happy with the fact that in addition to motherhood, she nowalso has something for herself.

Viewers are quite stunned about the couple’s lifestyle, according to thereactions. Because in addition to criticism of the approach of the couple,many viewers are also concerned about Sharona and Arjen. According to some,they need serious help and guidance. By the way, others praise Akyol and hiswife do, who, despite the circumstances, remain calm and quiet.

I can’t bear to watch this… can someone please say that serious guidance and> assistance is also involved here? #four hands on a> belly>> — Annemieke Linke (@AnnemiekeLinke) September 27,> 2022

This episode is getting worse by the minute. Nice how Anna and Özcan stay so> calm here #four hands on a> belly>> — Kristiene (@kristieneeisma) September 27,> 2022

These people should actually be protected and really helped and guided> outside the cameras #four hands on a> belly> #everythingfortheviewingfigures>> — Kelly Vandenhur (@KellyVandenhur1) September 27,> 2022

I’m really perplexed by this episode, so bizarre 🥲> #vhoeb> #four hands on a> belly>> — Dahnee Leuchter (@dgmleuchter) September 27,> 2022

#four hands on a> belly> looking back and falling from one surprise to the next…>> — Nirvaan❌❌❌ (@nirvaan1995) September 27,> 2022

Subway also regularly shares stories about upbringing and parenting. Expertsanswer all kinds of parenting questions for this. For example, what should youdo if your child lies a lot? Or throws a tantrum when he or she doesn’t gethis or her way?

You look back Four hands on one stomach via NPO.

Director Ol Parker knew two things for sure when he made the film Ticket ToParadise wrote: Bali is the perfect location and Julia Roberts and GeorgeClooney have to play the lead roles. He managed to tie the actors, but Baliwas still closed in 2021 due to corona measures when Clooney and Roberts hadtime. So there was no other option: Bali had to be brought to Australia.

By Michiel Vos

“We did not know how long we had to wait if we wanted to film in Bali andGeorge and Julia only had a limited time in their busy schedules, so it had tohappen during that period,” Parker tells NU.nl. Postponing the shooting andchoosing other actors was not an option. “In the first conversations about thecasting, I made one thing clear: Clooney and Roberts had to be it.”

“They are beautiful and brilliant actors. If you show a divorced couple, ithas to be believable that they were once together. We have thirty years ofimages of George and Julia’s friendship that make this past togetherauthentic. And They also have great chemistry together.”

Clooney and Roberts star in Ticket to Paradise the divorced parents of adaughter who falls in love with a Balinese and wants to marry him almostimmediately. The director had to convince one of the two actors, because thenthe other would follow. “I literally wrote her: ‘I’ll do it if you do it too’.Julia said exactly the same thing. That was really the only way for us,”Clooney tells NU.nl. “Poor Ol wrote the movie with no second option in termsof actors in his head, so it would only work if we both went for it.”

“It felt important to create something uplifting together,” adds Roberts. “Iread the script and there was so much fun in it. It was really a relief aftermany other scripts I read at the time and the news that you get.”

3:08 Afspelen knop

Bringing Bali to Australia

It was never Parker’s plan to film anywhere other than Bali, but he had nochoice. “We were forced to make a radical change. When it became clear thatBali was not an option when George and Julia were available, the questionbecame whether we should throw the project in the trash. Or find another wayto make it work.”

Eventually they moved to the Whitsunday Islands in Australia. Parker is facedwith the challenge of making it as believable as possible that the story takesplace in Bali. “We had a crew in Bali who shot some background footage. Andthey ended up in the film using CGI. It was certainly a challenge, but thatgoes for any film made in times of COVID-19.”

Cultural advisors became actors

The white beaches and palm trees are all right, but the atmosphere and cultureof Bali are just as important. “We hired advisors to teach us more aboutBalinese customs and a large part of our cast is Indonesian. None of them areprofessional actors,” explains the director. “The man who plays the father ofthe character Gede advised us on the rituals we wanted to show in the film.Then I saw how handsome and charming he is and I wanted him as an actor too.”

Still, Parker received some criticism online for the casting choices. He choseactor Maxime Bouttier, who has an Indonesian mother and French father, for therole of a Balinese man. Because he is partly of European descent, Westernbeauty ideals would be projected onto a Balinese character. “Maxime has ahouse in Bali. He lives there. We have spoken to many actors and he has becomeit. It was disappointing to read that. He was surprised himself. He seeshimself as Balinese. I don’t know a single Balinese person who had a problemwith this.”

Parker says it’s good to listen to the people who understand and treat thecustoms of another culture in a respectful way. “Reality is more important inthis case than how you want to portray it as a filmmaker. If I had somethingin my head a certain way and they said it wouldn’t be like that in real life,we didn’t do it in the film. There is nothing more fun than showing adifferent culture with great respect.”

This year the MiXX vocal association consists of our own Hengevelde for 26years. This beautiful anniversary will be celebrated on October 21, 2022 witha concert, ‘completely under its own power’. Tickets at €7.50 are available atDe Bazar van Jon, via the members of MiXX of course or by emailingaleidvoskamp51@gmail.com. The evening starts at 8 p.m., location Herberg DeGebrande Waateren.

An interview with a mixed group: Joke Boomkamp (member since 1996), FrankAppelman (member since 2004 and also chairman since 2016) and Jos Artz (membersince 2021).

In 1996 a group of enthusiastic singers from Hengevelde founded a new choir:MiXX ’96. There were already three choirs in the village at that time. Thenew choir would not be a church choir, but more of a pop choir with songs fromclassical to pop. The ambitions were great. It became more than ‘singing a little’, because theassociation was legally registered, a rehearsal location had to be found, andof course a conductor had to be appointed. This worked and no fewer than 38people, mainly from Hengevelde, came to sing together in MiXX! From the outset it was fun at Assink before, during and after the rehearsalson Monday. With permanent musicians in the band and a conductor on violin, asolid foundation was laid. The choir made music together, but mutualfriendship also grew. Something that is perhaps even more central today thanit was then. “We are really there for each other.” There is serious rehearsal. Of course a lot is expected of the singers, butthey also help each other. Knowing the parties, texts by heart as much aspossible and preferably: a large dose of enthusiasm. No one is left behind inthis. Not then and not now. The enthusiasm remains unchanged, the threemembers say. The third half was always well attended. Fortunately, it is alsostill available at De Marke, the current practice location.

MiXX’96 now consists of no less than 60 members. Hengevelde remains the basis,but today members come from all over the world: Delden, Diepenheim, Beckum,Geesteren, Bentelo, etcetera. MiXX is a household name in our village andaccording to the members ‘you call MiXX and Hengevelde in the same breath’.Hengevelde is a village where a lot is possible.

There is supposedly a high involvement in the choir. There is also littleturnover, the majority have been members for a long time. Recently 6 newmembers joined. Four from Delden and two from Hengevelde. It helps tointegrate, says Jos, who has lived in our village for two years now. Togetherwith his wife, he was happy to become a member of MiXX. He likes it very muchand many new social contacts have been made.

Conviviality at its best. A strength of MiXX. But make no mistake, it doeswork. Everyone does this in their own way, stimulated by today’s conductor:Sander Fox. A name that almost makes the eyes of the trio shine. Sander camein as a substitute at one of the performances and actually never left. It wasarranged with a choir from Hengelo that Sander can accompany both them andMiXX musically on Monday evenings. He has been with the group for about 4 years now. And he is positivelycritical, say the members. The level of the singing and the quality of therepertoire has increased further. Sander dares to address the choir, butalways does so constructively: “Everything will be fine”. He keeps in constantcontact with the band, the showpiece of MiXX. George de Witte on bass guitar,Seine Hendriks on rhythm guitar, Gerie Scholten on piano and Ronald Rikkert ondrums. The choir is proud of it. An own band that musically shapes the songsfrom the 60s to the present. From classical to pop. From Adiemus to songs byQueen, ABBA and Toto. Really mixed.

With the jubilee concert on 21 October, the choir is happy to celebrate whereit is now. There is still so much fun and also a party to listen to, accordingto the reactions over the years. The concert is different from previousconcerts. This time MiXX is going ‘solo’. It promises to be a special evening,unlike any other.

Below are some photos from the past few years and a photo of the beautifulchoir of today!

“I first fell in love with Tom as a teenage girl of 14. Less than a monthlater I felt the same jitters for Adam, his best friend. Both boys liked meand I said out loud that I was in love with them both. It didn’t take morethan a little kissing, and in the years that followed I dismissed my doublecrush as a little joke from my childhood. That would probably never happenagain. But it happened again when I was 17. I was in love, I had a greatrelationship and fell in love with someone else again.

This boy broke up with me when I confessed. I felt so strange and so strangethat I didn’t dare to fall in love for a long time. I stopped allowing myselffeelings for others.”

“Until I fell madly in love with James. This handsome blond man was in thesame sorority as me and stole my heart. James turned out to be everything Ineeded. My best friend, my buddy, my romantic love. For the first time inyears I dared again to feel and even enjoy my feelings.

And again it happened. I fell in love with someone else again. To Henry, whomI knew from football. When I confessed this to James, he laughed. There was noanger, no jealousy. In my love with James, there appeared to be room to pursuethis feeling as well.”

Multiple love relationships side by side

“Henry is a bit older than me and has more experience. He taught me aboutpolyamory, having multiple love relationships next to each other, everythinghonest and open to everyone.

I’ve been with James and Henry for a few years now. James and I got married,for administrative reasons, and Henry sat at the front of the ceremony. If Icould I would marry both, but unfortunately that is not allowed by Dutch law.My family, friends and colleagues all know about it.”

“The three of us recently bought a house. Everyone has their own room and bedand private space. We have strict rules about that too. The rest we share withthe three of us, both the household chores and the costs. We have all threedifferent salaries, so we divided the fixed costs pro rata, everyone has theirown room and we share an agenda to keep track of who is where.

They are both nice spontaneous guys with whom I each share different hobbies.They also look a bit alike, it is clear to see that I have a certain taste. Wego to festivals together and weekends away as a couple. When we go out with agroup of friends, both men go with us, but the three of us on holiday wehaven’t really done so far.”

Granting each other’s individuality

“The great thing about poly is that you don’t have to get everything from oneperson. Everyone gets tired sometimes, everyone does things with their partnerthat they actually don’t like. I can outsource those things, as it were. Ihave someone I like to go to concerts with and someone who really likes gamingso I can share all my hobbies with both.

James is much more of an emotional person and can listen very well, whileHenry is very practical. James doesn’t like to cook so Henry does that, Henrydoesn’t like folding the laundry so I do that, I don’t like vacuuming so Jamesdoes. In this way we all complement each other. We give each other ourindividuality.”

Incredible libidos or swingers

“James is also with Melissa, Henry is also with Sanne and I am with my two menand I have never felt so loved. It is wonderful to see how James and Henryinteract with their other partners and how my men get along so well with befriends. It feels like some kind of intensely close group of friends whereeveryone cares about each other. I would do both metamours or the partnersof my partners, dare to call friends.

“People always think that we must have massive libidos or be swingers, but itdoesn’t work that way. It’s more like having two monogamous relationships sideby side, both of whom are equally dear to me. In fact, I think the trustwithin our relationships is better than in many monogamous relationships.Jealousy and replacement fear are always lurking. Good communication andenough confirmation of the uniqueness of the relationship are therefore veryimportant. We have found our way there by finding out where the felt jealousycomes from. is often not an envy that someone has something you don’t have,but fear or insecurity that needs to be expressed.”

New crush not excluded

“In a practical sense it is sometimes quite difficult to keep an agenda and tofind space in it for all the different parties to be together. We are notlooking for a new love either. We are all polysaturated as it is called, ourcurrent construction is enough.

But it cannot be ruled out that one of us could fall in love again. When thathappens, we just have to sit down again and set rules and expectations. Butone thing is certain: I will grow old with these two.”

The names Elle, James and Henry are fictitious names. Their real names areknown to the editors.

Wanted: Love Lessons

For the Love Lesson section on RTL Nieuws Lifestyle we are looking forbeautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, amoment of reflection. Preferably with a hand in your own bosom. Did youeventually turn out to be the one with fear of commitment? Should you neverhave emigrated for love or did a blended family turn out to be an illusion?Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can tellanonymously. Mail to: hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl.

The television he makes awakens a mix of emotions in the viewer. A smile ispreceded by a tear at least as many times and vice versa. That is why oftenintense topics are discussed. One subject is central: the human being in allits facets. In the human interest programs Radio Gaga or The Weekends thepeople he talks to often dare to put their deepest feelings on the table. Thealways sympathetic Hessels succeeds time and again by displaying a largeportion of empathy. But the actor and presenter also knows how to gain thetrust of his interlocutors by giving an insight into his private life, hisperson and the things that affect him.

Also in the latest episode of his latest achievement Taxi Joris let Hesselslook into his heart. In one of the taxi rides, the cheerful TV maker talkscandidly about an insecurity that has been living in him for several years:his increasingly thinning haircut. Hessels receives a call from the AntwerpJens, a young man in his thirties who, like many other men, is starting tosuffer from hair loss. “It has gotten worse in recent years,” he says. “I usedto have a lot of thick hair and now it’s very thin and you can see throughit.”

“Now it’s all over because I’m going there anyway,” says Jens about hisupcoming surgery in Turkey. “At the back they take her away and then they putit in from above one by one. That will take a while,” explains Jens. “It takestwo hours to take the hairs out and four to put them back in. So you’ve lostsix hours.”

So why did he move specifically to the Middle East? “Because it is slightlymore expensive in Belgium. With everything included, flight, hotel, and theoperation itself, it comes down to about 2,500 euros.

“More confidence”

Jens indicates that he is very fond of his appearance and since he becamevisibly bald, the idea of ​​​​having her implanted took place. “It startsbecause you start to see it yourself in the mirror. Especially when I wassitting at the hairdresser, with that light on, I noticed that I could reallysee through it. And that became more and more. I started to fall more and moreabout it,” says Jens.

The fact that the thirty-year-old attaches great importance to his appearanceis apparent when he talks about his passion for sport. “I used to be a bitchubby, which is why I want to exercise so much. I also have a personaltrainer,” says Jens. “I’m especially afraid of getting too fat. I used to notbelong to the most popular group. You always want to belong to the toughguys”, he shows himself vulnerable.

At the age of sixteen, he completely immersed himself in the fitness world.“As you see your body change, you automatically get more self-confidence,”says the Antwerp resident. “But sports is also a very external world, isn’tit?” Joris adds. “Did that speed up your decision?” he wonders. “I think so.People who look good get more attention from others,” is the telling answer.

Hide coves

And that is why, after years of doubt, Jens thought it was high time to takethe step. “I do expect when I get back, that I can go to the hairdresser againto have something decent done again, and to lay my hair properly.”

After the confessions of Jens, Hessels also has to get something off hischest. “I also look in the mirror and then I think: ‘it is very thin’. Inaddition, I spend a lot of time on TV and you start laying your hair in such away that you can’t see the coves or see through them,” the presenter admitsreadily. “I think that’s very bad about myself, because I think: ‘Who isworking on that now, besides yourself?’”, says Hessels.

He seems to be able to pull every second, the protagonist of the remarkabledebut femi. Dennis, 21, is one lump of pent-up emotions. Not only is heaggressive towards his surroundings, including his pregnant ex-partner, therealso seems to be a permanent battle going on in his head. He sees his Nigerianfather, who committed suicide, appear in dreams about his future child and hehimself has suicidal thoughts. His solution to the memories that terrorize himis not therapy, but voodoo.

Director Dwight Fagbamila (1993) is intrigued by the theme of absent blackfathers, he says. He used it in his graduation film Babatunde and knows ‘thefatherless existence’ from his own experience. “My Nigerian father is stillalive, but he separated from my mother when I was about five, moved to Londonand commuted up and down.”

Black boys who grow up without a father often appear in American films. Itsometimes leads to characters looking for and finding father figures in theunderworld. Well-known example is Oscar winner moonlight. In Fagbamila’sfilm, growing up without a father figure leads to self-hatred. “Dennis getsinto a fight with almost all the characters of color in the film, shaves hiscurls and even his pubic hair and finds the colored part of himself verydifficult.”

Growing up as a “mixed” boy of color in an almost completely white environmentcan lead to an identity crisis, says the director. “This search never led todepression for me like Dennis did. But his behavior is a dramatization offeelings I’ve had myself, which is that you never really belong anywhere andthat you want to fulfill something that is impossible. In the Netherlands Iwas always seen as black and in Nigeria as white.”

That Dennis doesn’t feel at home anywhere in the film doesn’t seem to beexplicitly due to his environment? “Compared to other black or mixed boys, Imyself have had little to do with outside racism. Of course I have beenstopped by the police for no reason, but never on the same structural basis asmany around me.

“So I thought it was more fair and interesting to look at internalized racismin my film. For example, I myself had a little voice in my head that told meto behave in an exemplary way in front of authorities or to be patient withthe elderly who need time to adapt to the current world in which you can nolonger do everything. say and do.”

Voodoo Rituals

Yannick Jozefzoon in the film as Dennis alternates very convincingly outburstsof anger with helpless attempts at overtures. He has rightly been nominatedfor a Golden Calf. His character goes in search of a ‘solution’ for thenegative spiral in which he finds himself in the culture of his deceasedfather. More specifically in voodoo rituals such as those in the West AfricanIfa faith, in which you can influence people and their behavior through spellsand magic. It delivers some thriller and horror-like moments. Fagbamila: “Myfather and Nigerian family are Muslim, but you notice that they know andrespect other West African religious traditions and elements. For example, myfather warned me when I visited people who are working on the dark side ofIfa: don’t let them get to you, they might conjure you.”

Also read a column by Sabeth Snijders about, among other things, ‘Femi’:Dutch film wallows in death and mourning

Except for the occasional warning, Fagbamila’s father made little effort topass on Nigerian traditions, religion, or language to his son. The youngdirector calls it a ‘mortal sin’. “There are all kinds of things that played abig role in the lives of my grandparents, but that I will never be able topass on to my children.” So he did his own research, read a lot and talked toa babalao, a kind of Ifa counselor or priest. Precisely because he knew solittle about them, he wanted to portray these traditions in his film. “Youhave the feeling that it is also part of who you are.”

femi takes place in Eindhoven. “A hugely underused setting in Dutch cinema,”says Fagbamila. And he’s not just saying that because he’s never lived andworked anywhere else. His film is set in somewhat drab locations: emptyfactory buildings, workers’ houses, a window prostitution neighbourhood. Butthe director often bathes these places in striking colors; for example, thePSV stadium casts its red and white light on Dennis’ mother’s residentialarea. It creates an unreal atmosphere that fits a film that combines rawrealism with mysticism. Fagbamila: „I see Eindhoven as a searching city afterthe departure of Philips. Large business premises have been vacant for a longtime and are now all being given new, trendy destinations. I thought thatsearching character of the city was a nice mirror for the character of themain character.”