Chelsea Handler is ready to find love again, after the end of her relationshipwith fellow comedian Jo Koy.
The former Chelsea, Lately host — whose new special on Netflix, titled_Revolution_ , dropped on Dec. 27 — joined Brooke Shields on her podcast NowWhat? , __ where the two women spoke about Handler’s personal andprofessional life. One topic that Handler got candid about was her romancewith Koy, which ended just ahead of their one-year anniversary in July.
“I really believed that this was my guy. I was like, ‘Oh my God, I won. I goteverything. I have my career, I have respect, I have my family, I have so manyfriends, I have all these things. And then I thought this was going to be theperson I spend my life with,’” she explained. “I’m not that hard up to getmarried, but I was open to the idea of it, and we definitely discussed it atlength, because it was important to him. But towards the end of therelationship, it just became clear that this was not my person. … There werejust some behaviors that we couldn’t agree on. … It felt, to me, like I wouldhave to abandon myself, which maybe I would have been OK to do if I was 20 or25, but I wasn’t willing to do that, no matter how much I loved this person —and I loved him so much. But I wasn’t willing to do that.”
While Handler said it was “difficult” to walk away from what she thought wouldbe a “forever relationship,” she recognized there were irreconcilabledifferences between the pair.
“I was in a lot of pain, but — it was just unacceptable,” she noted. “Like Ijust said, ‘This … can’t happen.’ Our relationship just evolved. And we bothcould not agree on a situation, or several situations. And I thought, youknow, therapy could help — it didn’t. And I exhausted any avenue I could thinkof and then I just realized, this is futile.”
She added, “After therapy I understand, there’s no reason to be angry atanybody when something doesn’t work out. You just have to understand thingsdon’t work out sometimes. And there’s no reason to have vitriol about it. Butyeah, walking away from him was one of the most difficult things that I’veever had to do.”
Story continues
Shortly after their split in July, Handler and Koy both penned messages to oneanother on Instagram. Handler said of the Easter Sunday star, “You blew mycreativity open, my lust for working hard again, being on the road again, andyou reminded me who I was and always have been.” Koy said he remains Handler’s“biggest fan” in the wake of their split.
Though Koy directed her latest Netflix special, Handler told Shields that shehasn’t “spoken to him in a while.”
“There has to be some accountability — you know what I mean — from him, aboutwhat happened, because it was just ridiculous,” the ex-talk-show host said.“And, you know, I don’t think we can have a friendship until there’s someaccountability and some responsibility taken.”
As for what she’s looking for now, Handler said, “I need somebody who readsbooks and reads the news and cares about global affairs. … I never thought itwas like the most important thing but I’m so about that. And it’s not fun toread the paper and be able to discuss that with someone. Like a thirst forknowledge, a thirst for growth.”
Handler previously spoke about the end of her relationship with Koy thissummer on Glennon Doyle’s podcast We Can Do Hard Things. She called thechoice to stop dating the comedian a “mature thing to do.”
“When you know, you know,” she said at the time. “It’s like any otherintuition you have. You have to close your eyes and listen to your gut andunderstand that sometimes the pain you’re gonna go through with a breakup isgonna be much more preferable than remaining in something that isn’t workinganymore.”
Wellness, parenting, body image and more: Get to know the ** who*behind the* ** hoo with Yahoo Life ‘s newsletter. Sign up here