fans of Chicago Med ‘s Marlyne Barrett will recall emotional scenes theactress filmed in 2019 when her character, charge nurse Maggie Lockwood, wasbattling breast cancer. Yet what the star hasn’t revealed until now is thatshe has been quietly facing cancer herself, ever since doctors discovered afootball-sized tumor on her uterus and left ovary in July.
“I’m an extremely private person, but I felt a responsibility to tell mystory,” says Barrett, 44, who has 11-month-old twins Joshuah-Jireh andAhnne-N’Urya with her husband, pastor Gavin Barrett. “When my character wentthrough breast cancer, I had a sea of people reach out to me through socialmedia. They brought me courage, and so I felt a sense of inevitability to meettheir hearts where they met me.”
Barrett, who is also known for her role on The Wire , says she also hopes toinspire others to share their own painful or uncomfortable truths. “We ashuman beings are so scared to face the mortality of life, or to even pronouncethe word cancer,” she says. “But we have so much more strength inside of usthan we think.”
Marlyne Barrett
George Burns Jr./NBC
Barrett’s arduous cancer journey began two months ago when, following a herniarepair in April, she started feeling off. “I had this accumulation of fluid[in my abdomen] that I couldn’t shake,” she says. “I looked like I was ninemonths pregnant. And I also had shortness of breath, but no pain, which wasinteresting.”
RELATED: Jane Fonda, 84, Diagnosed with ‘Very Treatable’ Cancer and IsUndergoing Chemo: ‘I Feel Very Lucky’
On July 18, doctors informed Barrett that she had a mass on her ovary anduterus; the actress was stunned by the news. “The initial experience was ashock, a shock to my womanhood,” says Barrett, who has no family history ofeither uterine or ovarian cancers. “I didn’t believe them, but when theyshowed me the CT scan, I went, ‘Oh my word.’ The first questions were, ‘Am Igoing to live?’ I just fell into my husband’s arms. It still takes my breathaway when I think about it.”
Story continues
Despite her fears, Barrett jumped into defense mode as doctors informed hershe’d need “aggressive” chemotherapy before an eventual hysterectomy. “Thebest way I could experience was to meet it,” she says. “There’s no runningfrom it because it’s my life. And eventually you just surrender because it’sso much bigger than anything you’ve ever faced. I found this courage and Ijust hunkered down and said, ‘I’m going to face this. ‘ “
When it came to the inevitability that she’d lose her hair, “I didn’t want togive the power to chemo,” says Barrett. “My hair has always been an essence ofbeauty. But I took my own razor and I shaved my head. I did it in front of mybabies so they’d see it was still Mommy. I wept, I wept, I wept. But it was abeautiful experience to do it in front of them.”
Throughout the journey, Barrett has also found endless comfort in Gavin, whomshe wed in 2009. “I’m married to the most incredible man,” she says. “I getpins and needles in my limbs from the chemo and he’ll drop everything to giveme food and hand massages. He’s dropped everything just to give me love.”
CHICAGO MED — “How Do You Begin to Count the Losses” Episode 801 — Pictured:(lr) Marlyne Barrett as Maggie Lockwood, Nick Gehlfuss as Will Halstead
George Burns Jr./NBC
Throughout her physical discomfort, Barrett has worked steadily, leaning onher Chicago Med cast and crew for extra support when needed. “I’ve hadpeople shave their heads on set to support me,” she says, fighting tears.
RELATED: ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Star Kornbread Reveals Cancer Diagnosis:’Absolutely Curable’
In order to keep working, “I start an hour earlier to get my bearings before Istart my day,” says the actress, who also takes naps and occasional days offto keep up her energy.
In addition, “because of the mass, my mid-range is a different size, so thecostume department does an incredible job,” says Barrett. “Interestinglyenough, my character on the show already wears a wig!” And ultimately, “workbrings me a lot of joy right now,” she says. “It brings me a lot of reprieveto think about something other than, ‘When is my next chemo shift?’ and ‘Howam I going to hug my children?'”
Now, as she prepares for her third round of chemotherapy at City of Hope inLos Angeles, Barrett says she’s taking it “one day at a time.”
“I have a wave of emotion that comes,” she admits. “But it’s okay not to haveit all together. You can’t tangibly hold onto fear. But I’m holding ontofaith.”
Continues Barrett: “I find new strength to carry on every day because of [mychildren]. I want to see them get married one day. And I will.”
Chicago Med airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.