The new year is still in the pampers, but the program of the year is alreadyknown: ‘The story of Flanders’. That is the opinion of the average horselover. Because you see farmers and monks, horny bishops, serfs, painters andblonde wenches who run screaming through the fields, chased by foreignsoldiers. The only constant are those massively present horses. And then onewonders: what would Flanders be without our neighing show-offs?
Hugo MatthysenSunday January 1, 202312:00
Wout Versmeus (horse friend) «Nothing! Flanders would be nothing at allwithout horses!”
HUMO I already had such a suspicion.
FRESH «The facts do not speak volumes, but entire libraries. Drove Maryof Burgundy on a bicycle? Became the carriage of Emperor Charles pulledby armadillos? No! Our rulers would not have gotten anywhere without ourgalloping friends. But the greatest achievement of our gentle-smellingvertebrates is the Antwerp cathedral.”
HUMO Why and why and the like?
FRESH “That tower! It’s not that hard to put something like this together.You need a yard of about 140 meters and a lot of stones. But put that up!According to my calculations, two hundred farm horses have been pulling onwrist-sized ropes continuously for three hundred years, until the thing stoodupright.”
HUMO Three centuries! That’s a long time. But why didn’t they just build thattower vertically?
FRESH “Because they wanted to start at the top. A wise choice, because itgives you a good view of the length. If you start in a classic way with atower of 10 square meters and you get the sense that it’s too narrow to bestable, that thing might already be tens of meters high, and you’re there.”
HUMO What else have horses achieved on Flemish soil?
FRESH “Little, because the Fleming never took the horse seriously. Haveyou ever seen those shrimp fishermen in Oostduinkerke?”
HUMO Those guys who ride into the sea on a horse to catch shrimp?
FRESH “Of course that is ridiculous. You can make more croquettes from onesuch horse than what such an animal catches during its entire life. Thosehorses aren’t interested in shrimp either: they don’t eat shellfish. So whatdrives those beasts to the sea?”
HUMO Paw bathing?
FRESH “Don’t swan, eh! By the way, Zwanzen is an early medieval verb forthe tail movement with which a horse indicates that someone is sellingnonsense. No, those horses, and you can still see that when you look at thevirtuoso nostril sniffing, smell the other side!»
HUMO England?
“Now you underestimate those animals. No, they smell America, the endlessprairies where it is wonderful to graze. They smell a future! If thoseOostduinkerke fishermen had let those horses go their way, those animals wouldsurely find a way. Sensitive as they are, they would have found a route towade from the Belgian coast to Florida. With enough confidence, theMerovingians had already discovered America. But yes, they abused those beaststo erect towers. In terms of animal cruelty, that counts. No, the story ofFlanders is one of cruelty and stupidity. Fortunately, many horses trot in it,otherwise it was not to be seen.”