Oiled basts! Voluptuous derrières! Vaguely related to the homo sapiens fitnessguys who prefer to have a deep conversation with a plunging neckline! Ofcourse, this could have been about ‘Temptation Island’ or ‘Love Island’, butin the realm of hormonal dating shows there is only one king: Netflix hit ‘TooHot to Handle’, just entering its fourth season.
Vincent Van PeerThursday 22 December 202212:00
For those who missed the previous three seasons and are afraid that they willnot be able to follow: don’t worry, the concept has as much to do as one ofthe textile-allergic candidates. (Some even become unwell at the sight of abuttoned shirt.) It goes like this: under false pretenses, twelve swelteringbachelors are lured to a tropical island, where they hope to enjoy anunhindered ‘Oh Oh Cherso’ for a summer. to make. The twist: They’re soon toldthat the idea is to forge “real emotional connections,” and that with everysexual act, money goes out of the $200,000 group pool. (A trial version wasonce included with Fabrizio Tzinaridis but it had to be stopped becausethe group owed about 20 million after just a few days.)
Why may such warmed-up fare as ‘Too Hot to Handle’ have become a guiltypleasure of the house over the years? Leave your brain cells at the door, andhear me out:
1) The challenge! You have to watch the candidates stare, acted or not, whenthey get that uppercut – no sex for several days! – to process. What theMarathon des Sables is to bar hangers like me, “Too Hot to Handle” is topumped-up Instagrammers. Holding their breath for a month would be less of aneffort for them; you see even faster Victor Verhulst a month without eggs.Can I still hear you thinking: make a fortune by not having sex? Yes, goodluck to the rest of the Kayla s and Jackson s spot that SvenOrnelis never registered.
2) The cast! What the actor troop of Christopher Nolan is for Hollywood,which is the ‘Too Hot to Handle’ candidate base for faded dating shows. Takethis season now! Sep is a Scot who lets slip at every sight of a more orless developed female bottom: ‘ That ‘s a bunda!’ No Gaelic for ‘that’sexactly what a strong personality depends on’, I understand. Nigel is thenagain an adonis of the genre Cristiano Ronaldo : prefers to look atherself in all circumstances, has never had sex without a mirror. And thenevery season you also have that one guy who presents himself as the group’sguru through all kinds of life wisdom vaguely reminiscent of tamponcommercials. Be careful, because it is usually those types who sooner or laterreach for a guitar.
Special mention to Creed , the hero of this fourth season. An Australianwith broken lips who simultaneously gives the impression that he is alwaysthinking and that nothing ever happens up there. At one point he succeeds upto four times (!) in promising each of his two Great Loves that he will makeit over with the other, in vain. With each confrontation, he himself does notseem to know which word to place after the other. And when he finally getscaught, he looks like a student who was convinced that the math riddlepresented to him was impossible to solve after all. The only thing rarer atthe “Too Hot to Handle” resort than underboob-covering swimwear is some self-awareness.
3) The workshops! In all kinds of floaty group sessions, through exercisesthat have as much to do with well-founded psychology as Robert Martinezwith a tactical plan, done in an almost poetic, but above all hilarious way ofself-love. Not in that way, because it costs money.
4) The alcohol! Although the candidates are not, as in many similar shows,completely drunk, ‘Too Hot to Handle’ lends itself perfectly to drinkinggames. Drinking every time someone talks the words ‘sincere connection’ out oftheir neck, for example, is good for a one-way ticket to the emergencydepartment of your local hospital.
5) Finally: the statements! A selection from the offer? ‘I want to become abetter person here, with every boner in my body.’ (One candidate defines aFreudian slip.) “It’s like my mother died.” (A candidate after the “no sex”reveal.) “I like what you did with your hair, you cute thing.” (A candidateduring a workshop, to her yoni.) Or: ‘What is the telephone number for 911?'(The same candidate.)
Well, I just want to admit that I didn’t mind looking at this. Or as they sayin Gaelic: ‘ That ‘s a bunda!’