On the TV show B &B full of love we saw how Harmjan (54) finally wins theheart of Astrid (49). And yes, they are now even engaged. “It felt good fromday one.”
Chanan FoppenBrenda van LeeuwenDecember 14, 20229:00 am
‘ My name is Astrid, 48 years old. I have been happily living in Austria forfive and a half years now, together with my two children aged eight and ten.Are you that Dutch man with an open appearance, beautiful eyes and a wonderfulsmile? And are you looking for a sweet, caring, but also direct and sometimesimpatient woman? Then register now.’
For example, the whole of the Netherlands became acquainted with Astrid, ownerof a bed and breakfast in Sankt Michael im Lungau, Austria. The call wasappreciated by Harmjan from Groningen. He responded, recorded a video for herand was chosen to come and stay in Austria. That sleepover kept the whole ofthe Netherlands busy for weeks.
Did you have any idea what you were getting into?
Astrid: “Not at all. I seriously underestimated it. I went in naively.What can happen to me, I thought. And then quite a lot happens. For threeweeks a camera team and the men around you, the shots that take you out ofyour daily rhythm. But I found the reactions on social media particularlyintense.” Harmjan: “With my face on television, I didn’t have to at all, but I wastriggered by Astrid. If I didn’t sign up, she might end up in someone else’sarms. I made a proposal video, and not much later I received a phone call:Astrid would like to invite you to Austria.” A: “Harmjan immediately jumped out. His enthusiasm, his smile, what hesaid. When I saw him, I didn’t hesitate for a second. I knew: I want to meethim.”
How do you get to know each other well under the watchful eye of the cameras?
A: “It went wrong for me as soon as the first man came in. The men, thecameras… I blocked, became stiffer, wasn’t myself. Sometimes a scene had to berepeated six times. Then you don’t really get to know each other. Thathappened off camera. We were constantly looking for each other at thosemoments. Harmjan was really my support in those weeks that were a bigrollercoaster.” H: “When Astrid came in wearing lederhosen, I was completely blown away.She looked fantastic. I was very impressed with her. I wanted to walk next toa woman like that, she did something to me. I also saw that she was in asplit. The camera team wanted a lot from her, but what did she want?” A: “I also wanted to be there for the children as much as possible, andhad made agreements about that. Every day we could eat together in peace and Iwould have time to put them to bed. So I always took that time. At thosemoments you see me missing in the episodes.” H: “She didn’t know that someone asked for her opinion.” A: “That gave me a very safe and familiar feeling.” H: “We talked for hours that night. About ourselves, what we’ve beenthrough, but also about the things we like. There was an immediate click.” A: “It was so nice, so relaxed. At that moment I already felt much morethan just an emotional click.”
In the episodes we mainly saw a tense Astrid and a lot of bickering betweenyou. How did you view those images?
A: “I am very shocked by what was eventually broadcast, and especially thereactions to it. I didn’t expect people to be so tough. They called me an icerabbit, stiff and cold. I get that too, because that’s how I felt in thebeginning. I found it very difficult to see myself again and read thecomments. Harmjan was in the Netherlands at that time. I was in Austria, withmy children and a house full of guests. I was under a lot of stress, didn’tsleep anymore, cried a lot. I no longer functioned. It was just really, reallyhard. At that moment Harmjan told me to stop reading those messages. That gaveme peace, but with every episode I saw, I talked myself into everything.” H: “You can’t relax anymore, because you know what else has beenrecorded. There’s been a continuous spoiler from episode one of an argumentbetween us, which didn’t show until six weeks later. You brace yourself forthat moment.” A: “Everything was negative from the first moment. After that fight, theyput us in a nicer and nicer place.”
In the very last minutes of the last episode it was only announced that youhad found love. For many viewers an unexpectedly emotional moment. So therewas already much more going on than could be seen on television?
A: “We both knew there was a click, that was clear. What I felt exactlywas not entirely clear to me or I did not dare to admit it yet.” H: “Astrid was afraid it would go wrong again. The period after herdivorce has not been a pleasant period, not even for the children. You don’twant to do that to them again. At the same time, you also want to protectyourself: do I only go for the happiness of my children or do I also choose myown happiness, was the question that constantly occupied her mind. In themeantime, of course, we had already started something. The kids already spenta lot of time with me, so actually she had already let me in. Only actuallygrabbing it was a matter of patience. I gave her that space. I saw mydeparture from Austria as an open end. Astrid was soon on the phone to ask ifI had arrived home safely.” Laughing: “Then I thought: okay, that is alreadygreat progress.”
A: “After the recordings I got questions from friends how it was. Wasthere anyone I was curious about. Then you have time to think about itcarefully.” H: “I went back to work. In that week I was back at the place where I hadrecorded my proposal video. I made a video for Astrid there, with the messagethat I really only wanted one thing: an invitation to come to Austria again.Then everything accelerated and I knew that I would be at her door again thatweekend.” A: “When he stood in front of me again after the shooting, it was clearto both of us. There was just everything between us.” H: “Then it hit.” A: “We stood in the hall for an hour and a half and held each other.”
It turned out not to be quite a relationship for you.
H: “The first three weeks I drove to Austria every weekend. That wasphysically unsustainable. That was every other weekend and during theholidays. We missed each other a lot during the week. We called early in themorning, during recess, when I drove back home, and again in the evening, whenthe kids were in bed.” A: “Bunch of teenagers.” H: “We really only wanted one thing: to be together.” A: “When Harmjan was with me on the weekends, the children were initiallywith their father. After a few times they were disappointed when they heardthat he had been and they had not seen him again. They also didn’t understandwhy he went back home and couldn’t just stay. Then we discussed how long wewould continue this, for whom and why? Harmjan has given me so much confidencethat I dared to go for it.”
Harmjan quit his job and left permanently for Austria. Was that a difficultdecision?
H: “Being in Austria is just good for me, so emigrating was an easychoice. Of course things are going to land now. I have a 28 year old son. Nowthat I live so far away from him, we can’t see each other or grab a bite toeat. I now feel that my son is a bit more on the sidelines, which I finddifficult.”
How do the children feel about having a man in the house again?
A: “The relationship between Harmjan and the children is very good. Theywent straight to him.” H: “If they get into mischief, they come to me.” A: “The children knew for what purpose the men were there, we did talkabout that. They then wondered what they should call a possible new partner.You don’t have to do anything at all, I made it clear to them. You have adaddy who will always be your daddy and will always be in your life. What weare going to call a new man, we can all discuss together.”
And how do you like Austrian life together?
H: “I now also work fully in the B&B. Astrid no longer has to quarterherself. We divide the tasks and when the children are free we can all go outtogether. I’m also going to register with the volunteer fire brigade here,just like in the Netherlands. I want to fully integrate in Austria. We growold together here.”
Yes, you are engaged! Harmjan secretly planned a proposal together with thechildren. How was that moment?
A: “I didn’t see it coming at all. We went out for dinner, so I was stillbusy changing clothes and guests arriving in the meantime. Then Harmjan gotdown on his knees.” H: “The kids and I thought that the proposal should just take place athome in the living room. Noah would secretly film it and Olivier would keepthe ring, but he thought that was too exciting, so I got it back.” A: “Olivier was standing with Harmjan, he immediately put his arms aroundus after Harmjan asked me. That was very sweet. I was silent and could onlylook at Harmjan. And of course I said yes.”
When did you know you wanted to ask Astrid?
H: “That was already discussed on our second real date after therecordings. Between two courses, Astrid suddenly asked me how I felt aboutgetting married. If I would like and dare to do that again. The moment Astridthrew it on the table like that, I knew I really wanted to marry her from myheart. I had to say that to her, but then I felt I would already say yes toher at that moment. That took some time to land. So I was very quiet, whichcaused panic on the other side of the table.” A: “I wanted to crawl under the table when I saw your reaction. It wasn’tmeant that way. I didn’t expect him to react like that.” H: “You did it, I asked you.”
Are there any plans for the wedding yet?
H: “In September we had a woman who turned out to be a well-known tarotcard reader. She predicted that we would be married within a year. That couldjust be, but we don’t have a date yet.” A: “We now live together in Austria, so we also get married in Austria.We don’t know what the day will look like yet. We’ll see where the boat goes.”
After a year of romantic highlights, you are now celebrating Christmastogether, in a wintry Austria. That must be magical.
A: “We have our house full of guests, but I always try to plan ChristmasEve for myself. That doesn’t have to be a big party for me. Whether we go fora fancy dinner or go sledding in our ski suit, as long as the four of us aretogether. Very cuddly, but that’s it for me.” H: “Hopefully there will be a huge amount of snow and we can go into themountains for a beautiful walk with lots of lights and a horse-drawn sleigh.Romance at its best.” A: “And they lived happily ever after.”
B &B full of love will be shown again on television next summer. The new B&Bowners will introduce themselves on RTL4 on December 29 at 8:30 p.m. B &Bfull of love: the kick-off.
Love is … with Astrid & Harmjan
Who puts the spike on the tree? And who sings the loudest along with Christmascarols on the radio? In the Libelle TV program Love is … Astrid and Harmjananswer these (and more) questions about each other.
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