Director Sahar Meradji captured Dutch problem families for the EO docuseries_Lost Children_. Last night was the last episode of the four-part series. Inaddition to some viewers reacting quite indignantly to the parents, there isalso support and compassion. And is there a message at the end of the episodethat still makes you think.
Parenting is quite a task. This is also evident from the number of readers whofrequently visit the parenting section of Subway clicks. In the docu-series_Lost Children_ of the EO, the maker followed three ‘problem families’ intheir daily struggles with parenthood. And that is quite impressive.
Problem families in documentary Lost Children
This is how the viewer sees Astrid and Peter, who both struggle with mentalchallenges and live with four children on seventy square meters in NorthAmsterdam. Astrid regularly has emotional outbursts and the couple, despitetheir struggles, try to run a family. Do they consider themselves a problemfamily? “Sometimes yes and sometimes no”, Astrid responds.
There is also the family Marjolein and Ronald, who fled to Belgium with theirthree children to avoid the Dutch youth care. Their three gifted childrensuffer from psychological problems and Marjolein also struggles with heremotional state. In tears, she tells, among other things, how her son’shaircut was accidentally cut too short and about de teddy bears lying in bed,including the ‘misery bear.’ For all the misery she goes through.
Condolences to parents and children
The documentary maker asks Marjolein if she psychologically abuses herchildren and is emotionally unstable. “No, I do not think so. If you arethreatened by authorities long enough, and that is the case in my case, itwill not make you more emotionally stable.” She is convinced that she is agood mother, but also understands that her emotional outbursts can sometimesbe intense for her children. When the filmmaker asks the children of Marjoleinand Ronald what they hope to achieve with the documentary, one of the sonsreplies: “Sexuality.”
Finally, the viewer also sees the family of Gerson and Merel from Rotterdam,who are looking for the right relationship with their autistic daughter. Thecouple has two children and is quite exhausted by the challenges that daughterNohemy’s autism entails. When the director asks if the couple likes beingparents, they laugh. “I find it very spicy. I sometimes think: ‘Why did I wanttwo children in the first place?’”, says Merel honestly. But in addition toflaring up despair, there is also a lot of love in the Rotterdam family.
Harsh reactions from critical viewers, but also support
Viewers’ reactions vary. It seems that most have watched in bewilderment andshocked by the stories. Some viewers express outrage at the parents and theirparenting style. And those reactions are not always nice. But in addition to alot of criticism, there is also sympathy and support. Because some viewersalso find it very brave and vulnerable that these parents share their story.
Message about education
At the end of the episode, the filmmaker asks the three families to reflect ontheir own family situation. The family of Marjolein and Ronald is stillstruggling with authorities and youth care and is trying to get things back ontrack in Belgium. Merel says that with home support, she can accept thingsbetter. And that she realizes that she and her husband are dealing with acomplicated situation.
“There are problems in every family,” concludes Peter. According to him,arguing is human. “And if people say we don’t have that, they’re lying.” AndAstrid agrees. “When people say that everything is perfect in their familylife.. never fight, never this, thaw that, then I dare to put my hand in theshit. Then you are not happy.” After which she explains that if you don’t talkthings out with each other or don’t argue, people will continue to walk withstress. “Then you are seventy years old in your coffin and I am ninety when Iam in my coffin. Because I’m not stressed, I lose it when I say it. And afamily that thinks it’s happy and doesn’t care, that lives with stress.” Andwith her own family, with or without obstacles, she knows: “Everything will be