Many Dutch people can sing songs like Can the lights be turned off and Ifshe is not there sing along word for word. But did you know that De Dijk hasonly reached the top five once in all those years? A bird’s-eye view of theevergreens, which the charts barely paid attention to at the time.

By Michiel Vos

De Dijk, who starts a series of farewell concerts on Friday evening in theAmsterdam Ziggo Dome, makes his debut in 1982 with the song Bleeding Heart.Today it is considered one of their most famous songs, but back then it didn’tmake much of an impression. The single didn’t even make it to the Top 40 atall.

Enter without knocking from 1985 suffered the same fate. The song does notmake it to the Top 40, but singer Huub van der Lubbe tells in 2000 _Penthouse_that the song still earns him enough money.

The singer wrote Enter without knocking about an affair he had during hismarriage, with a woman who suddenly came into his life and disappeared just assuddenly. His wife stayed and Van der Lubbe says that the relationship has notleft a bad aftertaste. “Not for the other person and not for my wife either.If only because – thanks to that song – we still eat well,” he jokes about it.

De vijf meest beluisterde nummers van De Dijk op Spotify

• 1. Als Ze Er Niet Is – 16 miljoen streams (5e plaats in Top 40) * 2. Ik Kan Het Niet Alleen – 15,4 miljoen streams (18e plaats in Top 40) * 3. Groot Hart – 8,2 miljoen streams (geen Top 40-notering) * 4. Mag Het Licht Uit – 8 miljoen streams (23e plaats in Top 40) * 5. Nergens Goed Voor – 6,8 miljoen streams (10e plaats in Top 40)

First Top 40 listing only in 1987

It was only in 1987 that De Dijk managed to reach the Top 40 for the firsttime with the song Can the lights be turned off. The number of the plate_Waking Up In A Strange World_ has been in the 500 most popular records of alltime almost every year since the beginning of the Top 2000 of Radio 2, but atthe time did not go beyond 23rd position in the weekly list. After five weeks,the song disappeared from the charts again.

On the same album is Dancing on the volcano to find, a song written abouttwo lovers who enjoy each other for a while before the world ends. Althoughthe song didn’t even make the Top 40, it now turns out to be one of De Dijk’smost beloved songs. In the most recent edition of the Top 2000, it is even theband’s highest ranking at 273rd place.

With the fifth album Nobody In Town released in 1989, the band becomes morepopular. However, that does not immediately result in a hit. The first single_I can not do it alone_ is one of the band’s most popular songs with fifteenmillion streams on Spotify, but it does not go further than eighteenth placein the charts. The single that comes out next, Good For Nowhere, is theband’s first top ten ranking. With 6.8 million streams on Spotify, it hasturned out to be a less timeless classic.

The title song Nobody In Town , on which Van der Lubbe sings, among otherthings, about a childhood friend who jumped to his death under the influenceof drugs, was never released as a single, but it has left its mark. With a291st place in the Top 2000 of 2021, the song has become the band’s secondmost loved song in that list and has become a fixture during their concerts.

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Biggest hit and number one albums

In 1994 De Dijk experienced its commercial peak with the release of the single_If she is not there_. The ode to Van der Lubbe’s wife Teuntje takes fifthplace in the Top 40 and is still in the higher regions of the Top 2000 everyyear. On Spotify, the song is the band’s most listened song, with sixteenmillion plays.

After that the band still manages to reach the Top 40 here and there, but itis mainly the albums that do well. In 2002 they achieved with Musicians Don’t Dance for the first time the highest position with a studio album. Also_Sharp The Scythe_ (2011) and Everyone ‘s Square (2014) top the album listfor a week.

The classics of the pop band will undoubtedly pass by during the farewellconcerts. De Dijk announced earlier this year to stop; for singer Van derLubbe the surprise was over. The band starts the concert series Friday eveningin the Amsterdam Ziggo Dome, where they play five shows. Then they tour theDutch pop stages to say their final goodbyes on December 17 in Paradiso, wherethey also gave their first performance in 1981.

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Ryan Grantham

Netflix Ryan Grantham in an episode of Riverdale

Actor Ryan Grantham was sentenced to life in prison for the shooting death ofhis mother.

Grantham, known for his role in Diary of a Wimpy Kid and appearance in_riverdale,_ pled guilty to second-degree murder in March 2020 for killing hismother, Barbara Waite.

The 24-year-old was handed a life sentence in the British Columbia SupremeCourt in Vancouver on Wednesday. He will not be eligible for parole for 14years, Canada’s CBC reports.

Per the outlet, Justice Kathleen Ker said gripping statements from thevictim’s loved ones, such as Grantham’s sister, showed the “life-shattering”impact of the tragedy. She added that the actor’s “saving grace” was that hewas aware enough of what he did and he didn’t go on a spree.

RELATED: ‘ Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ Actor Who Pleaded Guilty to MurderingMom Allegedly Plotted to Kill Justin Trudeau

Speaking about Grantham’s mental health issues, Ker noted that he had beenhaving difficulties weeks before the actor pulled the trigger and had beenviewing violent footage on the dark web.

He is getting psychiatric treatment while in jail and appears to be showingimprovement, Ker said according to CBC.

The child actor’s lawyer Chris Johnson said, according to CTV, that Granthamis not shocked at the sentencing.

RELATED: Elizabeth Chambers Rep Responds After Armie Hammer AccuserSlams ‘Healing’ Comments: She Was ‘Sensitive’

“I think he anticipated what the judge gave him as a sentence,” Johnson said.”I think he’s pretty apprehensive about the whole thing. He’s a fairly tinyperson, and to go to the prison system, I’m sure it’s a daunting and scarythought for him.”

Ker also made reference to Grantham’s “diminutive” size and said she wouldn’trecommend for him to go to a maximum security prison.

Grantham was 21 when he shot his mother in the head as she played piano.

Story continues

RELATED VIDEO: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Actor Who Pleaded Guilty to MurderingMom Allegedly Plotted to Kill Justin Trudeau

After the March 31, 2020, murder, Grantham allegedly planned to kill CanadianPrime Minister Justin Trudeau. He loaded his car with three guns, ammunition,12 Molotov cocktails, camping supplies and a map with directions to RideauCottage, where Trudeau lived with his family, CBC reported at the time.

Grantham never made it to Trudeau’s residence, and instead went to Vancouverpolice headquarters to turn himself in.

Crown prosecutor Michaela Donnelly referenced two psychiatric reports thatshowed the actor had been going through an “intense period of clinicaldepression” in the months leading up to the crime, CBC reported.

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The reports also showed, according to CBC, that Grantham was “experiencingurges to commit violence and kill himself.” CBC added that the reports saidGrantham made the decision to kill his mother “to spare her from seeing theviolence he intended to commit.”

Complex reported that Grantham’s sister Lisa Grantham found their mother onApril 1. Lisa shared a victim impact statement with the court and said hermother, who was battling cancer, was her “best friend.”

“She was vulnerable and Ryan gave her no chance to defend herself. It pains meto know he was a danger to her life,” she said, according to Complex. Both sheand her mother’s sister told the court they “fear his release from prison.”

**_If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to theCrisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis

Greyson Chance, the young musician who became famous after his YouTube-postedperformance of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” went viral in April 2010 and wasinvited to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show said in a new interview thathe felt trauma over the way the host treated him.

“I’ve never met someone more manipulative, more self-centered, and moreblatantly opportunistic than her,” he told Rolling Stone in a storypublished Thursday, as he released his new album, Palladium.

Through a rep, DeGeneres declined to comment for the Rolling Stone interviewor Yahoo Entertainment’s story.

Chance, who’s now 25, was just 12 when he became the buzz of the internet.DeGeneres called a week later, and it took his first plane ride from Oklahomato Los Angeles, Calif. where he said that DeGeneres assured him and hismother, Lisa, that they were “going to do this together.” The A-list star, whowas making a foray into the music business, hooked Chance up with an entireteam of people and, most importantly, signed him to her new music label, whichwas distributed by Interscope Geffen A&M Records.

But Chance told the magazine that DeGeneres “became dominating and way too> controlling.” For example, she stipulated what he wore, and he didn’t; no> leather, since she’s a vegan.

“She would come in and look at a rack, yell at stylists, berate people infront of me and say, ‘This is what you’re wearing on the show,'” Chance said.”She was just relegating to people.”

In one instance, the performer and his mom both said that she scolded the twoof them over the phone, after he had failed to watch the Justin Bieberdocumentary that she had asked him to see, when he hadn’t watched it becausehe was tired from touring.

Some of Chance’s words echo what employees of DeGeneres’s former talk showalleged in a July 2020 report from BuzzFeed. they called Ellen a toxicworkplace, where fear and intimidation were the norm.

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Back in 2012, when it was still on the air, Chance’s second album bombed andticket sales declined. He was dropped by the record label and by his team.

That’s when he said that DeGeneres “completely abandoned” him and wouldn’teven return his calls.

“I couldn’t get ahold of her. Couldn’t talk to her,” Chance said. “Whenever Iwould come on the show, it was such a fake smile. She wouldn’t even ask, ‘Howare you doing? How are you holding up?’ It was just like, ‘Here’s what we’regoing to talk about. We’ll see you on there.'”

But someone from her show contacted him at some point, because he appeared onit after he left the label. (In all, he was on DeGeneres’s stage 10 times overthe years, twice after 2012, according to IMDb.) When he performed there in2015, he said the two didn’t speak at all backstage. Still, he went back in2019 to promote a new album, portraits.

A show source pointed out that Chance hadn’t made any complaints at the time.

He said he was unhappy, though, especially on that final visit.

“She came out during soundcheck and she looked at me, hugged me. And she said,’How have you been?’ And that just killed me inside,” Chance said, “because Iwas like, ‘What do you mean how have I f***ing been? Where have you been?”

He didn’t appreciate her saying during their interview that she was proud of> him for having come out as gay since they had last spoken.

“She had nothing to do with that. … [When I came out,] I hadn’t spoken to herin years,” he said. “That’s so messed up, that you’re now showing the world asif we’re so tight. We’re so good. And behind the scenes, you are this insanelymanipulative person.”

Afterward, Chance said that, while he’s grateful for what DeGeneres did forhim early in his career, he declined offers to be part of Ellen ‘s finalseason. He knew the move meant less publicity, but he had to make it for his

One of Armie Hammer’s accusers — the woman known only as Effie, whose rapeallegations against Hammer sparked an LAPD investigation into the actor — iscalling out Elizabeth Chambers on her House of Effie Instagram account.

In a new E! News cover story, Chambers said she and Hammer “are in a reallygreat place,” adding in part that they speak frequently and that their divorceisn’t finalized.

She said that Hammer “has been focused on his healing,” adding that she’s”here to support that process.”

RELATED: Elizabeth Chambers Admits She Watched Armie Hammer Doc ‘Houseof Hammer’ : It ‘Was Very Painful’

houseofeffie/Instagram

houseofeffie/Instagram

On Wednesday, Effie — whose allegations against Hammer set into motion aninvestigation into the Call Me By Your Name star last March — shared aseries of messages on her Instagram Story allegedly between her and Chambersin which the TV personality appears to encourage Effie to go public withclaims against her ex.

House of Effie Slams Elizabeth Chambers Recent Interview, Reveals She UrgedHer to Come Fwd with Armie Allegations

House of Effie/instagram; getty

“I’m obtaining a copy of the NDA he used and think there’s an error in it,which would make it null and void. As soon as I confirm, can you post?” onemessage allegedly from Chambers read.

houseofeffie/Instagram

houseofeffie/Instagram

In another message, Chambers seemingly tells Effie to “stay focused” on”getting the stories on record. Not just the internet.”

After Chambers allegedly asked Effie if she’s hired a lawyer, Effie replies,”I’m feeling a tad bit suicidal and don’t have time for this rn sorry.”

RELATED: Elizabeth Chambers Has Found Love Again and ‘Is Super Happy’After Armie Hammer Split: Source

houseofeffie/Instagram

houseofeffie/Instagram

Chambers appeared to tell Effie, “I really need custody of my preciouschildren” and asked her to file a declaration, vowing that it will be keptprivate.

“I don’t want to pressure you, but your insight is much more in depth than theothers we have,” another message, said to be from Chambers, said.

She later allegedly added that a declaration from Effie could get Hammer putin jail.

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RELATED VIDEO: Armie Hammer ‘s Estranged Wife Elizabeth Chambers BreaksSilence on Ongoing Controversy

Effie concluded her Instagram Stories by writing, “Just some things to keep inmind before anyone else keeps wishing rapists ‘healing’.”

In a statement obtained by PEOPLE on Thursday, a rep for Chambers says, “Giventhe extent and nature of allegations that were made, Elizabeth sought todetermine the veracity of those allegations. She was very sensitive to allparties involved. The safety and well -being of their children remains herpriority.”

In July 2020, Chambers, 40, filed for divorce from Hammer, citingirreconcilable differences. Months later, the actor became embroiled incontroversy after messages allegedly from the actor detailing violent sexualfantasies were leaked online. He was later accused of rape, which he denied.

houseofeffie/Instagram

houseofeffie/Instagram

Effie, whose account first anonymously shared allegations against Hammer,accused him of sexual assault in a four-hour incident that she said occurredin 2017. The then 24-year-old appeared in a press conference alongside herattorney Gloria Allred.

Effie, who chose to keep her legal name private during the conference, furtheraccused Hammer of “mentally, emotionally and sexually” abusing her duringtheir on-and-off four-year relationship. Hammer was married to Chambers at thetime of the alleged affair.

houseofeffie/Instagram

houseofeffie/Instagram

In a previous statement provided to PEOPLE, Hammer’s lawyer denied the rapeallegation and maintained that his relationship with Effie was “completelyconsensual, discussed and agreed upon in advance, and mutually participatory.”

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text”STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certifiedcrisis counselor.

The new film documentary ‘Aber der Kirche passionrt nichts’ by Peter Crins andPeter Hermans will premiere on Friday 18 November at 7.30 pm. This will takeplace in the Pestoeërskoel room in Leveroy. After that, the film can be seenin the Pestoeërskoel room on Saturday 19 November at 2 pm and 7:30 pm and onSunday 20 November at 2 pm and 7:30 pm. The Weerter premiere is on Saturday 10December at 2 pm and 7:30 pm in the Munttheater in Weert. Tickets for allscreenings are on sale from Thursday 22 September via the website and cost€13.50 including a break consumption.

‘Aber der Kirche is not passionate about’

The announcement and start of sales of this new film documentary on Thursday22 September is not a coincidence, but has been chosen for several reasons. Tostart with, this is the date on which Weert was liberated in the Second WorldWar, after which Leveroy and the surrounding area became the front in the war.In addition, on this day the liberation monument will be unveiled in Weert andone of the stories on this monument has to do with the new film documentary.During the war, the Ursuline Monastery at Langstraat 20 in Weert housedrefugees, people in hiding and Jews. Despite many monks of German descent anda superior of German nationality. An example of this help is the hiding of theJewish sisters Eef and Simone Polak from Eindhoven, under the care of theGerman sister Raphaele, in August 1942. After a year, these sisters are stillhoused at ten addresses in Central Limburg, including the farm of Haves ownedby the widow Hermans of which filmmaker Peter Hermans is a grandson.

Successful documentaries Peter Crins (two-time winner of the Limburg Film Festival) has alreadydelivered several very successful documentaries, such as ‘De Meysbergh’ and’Grensgeval’. Researcher Crins came across so much new material in recentyears that he had no choice but to make this film. For the making of thisfilm, he again called in his teacher Peter Hermans. Events in his village thatno one talked about for years surfaced. Information presented itself and itwas ‘kill your darlings’ for Crins and Hermans who had so much new material attheir disposal.

About this new film documentary ‘Aber der Kirche pasert nichts’, the Germans said when the Allies advanced andthey were driven from Leveroy. The photos and the historical images tell adifferent story… Documentary makers Peter Crins and Peter Hermans put morethan 25 years of research into this film documentary, which is packed with newfilm material and documents. Such as the denouement of the liquidation of twoGermans, which was not or hardly discussed in Leveroy for years. Exceptionalview of Germans retreating across the canal, Ospelnaren being expelled andbeing shelled in a Leveroyse farmhouse, killing two of their hosts.

There are stories of people who saw the enormous shelling in Stramproy andWeert on the German-occupied area behind the Wessem-Nederweert canal. This wasfollowed by the crossing over the canal to begin the liberation of Leveroy andthe surrounding area. During the withdrawal of the Germans, the church ofLeveroy was completely blown up. And unlike Weert and Nederweert, Father Crinsprevented an ax day in Leveroy: he defended a girl with a prong to prevent herfrom being shaved.

2.5-hour film documentary These are some highlights from this 2.5-hour film documentary that also showsthat the invasion in 1940 had already been prepared by German spies. As aresult of that espionage, the Germans moved around the defenses of Weert,forcing many people from Weert and Nederweert to evacuate unnecessarily. Inwhich are also discussed: Leveroynaren who ended up in concentration campVught, the bell robbery in the church, Jewish people in hiding, the air warand help to pilots, the resistance, the cantonment of German soldiers and theshelter of German deserters: for the one a success for the other catastrophic.

About the documentary makers In 1994 the idea arose to make a documentary about Leveroy during WWII. WherePeter Crins (two-time winner of the Limburg Film Festival and of the ServaasHuys Prize, the prize for the best amateur film) and Peter Hermans wereinitially skeptical whether they could get enough material to the surface,they diligently researched which gave the plan sufficient body. .Incidentally, it was Peter Hermans who fueled the fire with Peter Crins tostart making films, resulting in many successful film documentaries by thegentlemen.

The inexperience turned out to cost a lot of money and the analogue qualitywas not satisfactory, but the passion and interest in this form ofhistoriography had arisen. The unexpected success of ‘Leveroy 1940-1945’demanded more and the digital age was moved on. A significant improvement.Some subjects called for in-depth exploration and more and more material wasbrought to the table. This film documentary ‘Aber der Kirche passionrt nichts’contains more than 25 years of research and recordings.

Impressions The film documentary ‘Aber der Kirche passionrt nichts’ can be seen in thePestoeërskoel room in Leveroy, Sillenhoek 4, at:

Friday 18 November 19.30 premiere

Saturday, November 19 at 2 p.m Saturday 19 November 7.30 pm

Sunday 20 November 2 pm Sunday 20 November 7.30 pm

Tickets cost €13.50 each and that includes a drink. There is free choice ofseat and the hall is open half an hour before the start.

On Saturday 10 December, the Weerter premiere of the film documentary can beseen in the Munttheater, Collegeplein 3 in Weert.

Saturday, December 10, 2 p.m. Saturday 10 December 19.30 hrs

Tickets cost €13.50 each and that includes a drink. Here you can reserve theplace of your preference on the map.

The organization is in the hands of Fanfare Concordia Leveroy in collaborationwith De Aldenborgh and Royal LGOG.

Celebrity chef Mario Batali has long been known for the bright orange Crocsthat he once wore everywhere, and for the celebrities, such as Gwyneth Paltrowand Jimmy Fallon, who often flocked to his side. But to the employees whoworked inside his restaurant empire, he was known for something else.

“He would hug you or kiss you or put his hands around your waist … or touchyour hips,” Trish Nelson, a former server at now-shuttered New York Cityrestaurant the Spotted Pig, in which Batali was the primary investor, says inDiscovery+’s new documentary, Batali: The Fall of a Superstar Chef , whichis available now. “We called him the red menace.”

Nelson is one of several former employees of Batali’s eateries who alleges inthe doc that the restaurateur, once behind dozens of venues, a co-host on TV’s_The Chew_ , the face of Eataly and, really, the creator of an entire foodempire, had engaged in sexual misconduct over the years. They describedinstances in which he had said sexually suggestive things to them or become —as one of his former restaurant partners, Steve Crane, put it, “touchy feely”— or worse.

Chef Mario Batali attends the afterparty for the premiere of 2009 movie_fantastic mr. Fox_ , in which he voiced a character, with co-stars BillMurray, Meryl Streep and Willem Dafoe, and director Wes Anderson. (Photo:Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)

They described a man with two distinct sides: one who was charming andgregarious and another that came out after he drank too much. That guy, whosurfaced as the night progressed, was lewd and sleazy. Workers said they felttrapped and unheard, because the restaurant industry wasn’t equipped to dealwith their reports of sexual misconduct.

Nelson, for instance, recalled a night when she was bringing drinks toBatali’s table of seven. She could only carry six drinks, so she assured theseventh person that she would come right back with his. In front of everyone,she said, Batali told her that, if she sat on the man’s face, she would “comeagain and again.” Other women recounted that Batali had grabbed their breastsor behinds on multiple occasions.

Mario Batali attends an event hosted by Chrissy Teigen in Oct. 2016 in NewYork City. (Photo: Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for NYCWFF)

There were also fans, like Sharelle Klaus, the co-founder of Dry Soda Co., whoalleged that Batali had inappropriately touched them in brief encounters.

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“He asked me if I wanted a picture with him,” Klaus said. “And as they weretaking the picture, he reached his hands down into my pants underneath myunderwear and grabbed my ass.”

Eva DeVirgilis, a former hostess at Batali’s New York City restaurant Babbo,revealed herself publicly as one of Batali’s accusers in the documentary. Shetold her story in an interview with 60 Minutes in 2018, but her face wasobscured then. Not this time.

DeVirgilis alleged that, in 2005, she agreed to go with Batali to the SpottedPig after her shift, expecting other people would go, too. But her boss endedup picking her up in a limo and whisking her to a candle-lit banquette, whereshe drank wine and blacked out.

“And then I have a moment, a flash, where I’m being kissed by him very, like,hard. And then I have another flash where I’m throwing up in a toilet. I sensethat he’s behind me,” DeVirgilis said. “And then there was nothing. And then Iwoke up… on a floor, hardwood floor. I had no idea where I was.”

Immediately, DeVirgilis said, she thought she had been drugged, because sheusually didn’t end up sick or blacked out while drinking. She also said thatshe found scratches on the insides of her legs and something that could havebeen semen on her skirt. So she went to Mount Sinai Hospital and had a rapekit done, but declined to go to the police, because she was worried about herpotential to get a job in the industry if she told her story. She gave noticeand left Babbo.

Batali issued a controversial apology for past behavior in Dec. 2017, as Eaterpublished four women’s accusations against him, but he also has denied allallegations of sexual assault. He to be part of Discovery+’s new documentary,and Yahoo was declined to reach him for comment.

but Batali: The Fall of a Superstar Chef explains that he was only part ofthe problem in an industry that long allowed bad behavior by many to gounchecked. As several journalists who covered alleged sexual misconduct byBatali — Julia Moskin and Kim Severson, of the New York Times and freelancerIrene Plagianos, who wrote about the celebrity chef for Eater — explained inthe documentary, their reporting on him came about in the wake of the HarveyWeinstein scandal and the #MeToo Movement.

After their reports emerged in 2017, Batali’s deals vanished.

Mario Batali leaves a Boston courtroom on May 24, 2019, after his arrangementon charges of indecent assault and battery. (Photo: Joseph Prezioso/AFP viaGetty Images)

New York Attorney General Letitia James eventually investigated the SpottedPig and the restaurant group co-owned by Batali, where she found wrongdoing.While Batali was not charged with a crime in New York, he was charged withindecent assault and battery in Boston for forcibly grabbing and kissingNatali Tene at a local bar in 2017.

“I’ve never been touched before like that,” Tene had testified, “likesqueezing in between my legs, squeezing my vagina to pull me closer to him, asif that’s a normal way to grab someone.”

The judge found that Tene had “significant credibility issues,” because oftext messages she had sent about the encounter with Batali and because of herbehavior as a juror in another case, and Batali was found not guilty in May.

He also has settled multiple civil lawsuits related to sexual misconduct inthe past few years.

Batali: The Fall of a Superstar Chef **is currently streaming on

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‘Still Believe by Herman Brood tells me that unconditional love will stillcome’

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Which song do you want to play at your own farewell anyway?

Still Believe by Herman Brood & His Wild Romance.

Why this one?

“I’ve been a big fan of Herman Brood since my childhood. He experienced hisglory days in the late 1970s, but I followed him before that time. He matchedexactly the adolescent blues that I was going through at the time. At the timeI was on a boys’ boarding school in Ter Apel and Herman often played inGroningen. Close by, but I was not allowed to go there.”

“I also recognized myself in Herman. I also kept myself going in life by doingtricks. This song is about a lost love that he hopes to find again, but for meit touches my deepest heartache. I’m like adopted a baby and it gave me anattachment problem I miss that unconditional love of a mother and this songmakes me feel like it will come someday I even had Henk Schiffmacher get atattoo with the lyrics of Still Believe. I continue to believe that I willstill have that love.”

And what does it say about your life?

“That craving for love was a slumbering feeling that I often ran into. I am anemotional person and have had many relationships in my life, which oftencrashed. Then that song always came back. There have been times when I wasvery melancholy and then this song lifted me over it again. Just like withblues music, sinking into melancholy can sometimes also give a nice newstart.”

“At 57 I wrote my biography, and I started a search for my biological father.My parents only had contact once. He was a journalist, and that world hasalways attracted me. It was nice to discover that love that I had beforewriting is apparently in my DNA. While writing my life story, the slumberingsadness logically reappeared. I had had contact with my biological motherbefore and just before her death we became a closer bond. I like to think thatmy faith in love has helped, because a touch of my dream and the feeling of_Still Believe_ has become reality.”

Amy Ray and Emily Sailers, who make up the lesbian folk-rock duo the IndigoGirls, are opening up about addiction, recovery and how their music continuesto be a lighthouse for the LGBTQ community.

The musicians recently sat down with Glennon Doyle for her podcast We Can DoHard Things during which Saliers, 59, opened up about her years-longaddiction to alcohol and how her drunken antics nearly caused Ray, 58, to quitthe band.

“I was destined to be an alcoholic,” Saliers said, acknowledging thatalcoholism runs in her family. “I didn’t know it. When we played bars andstuff and we did shots from the stage — this is when were babies — anddrinking was such a social part of what we did for work, and then I had a verysocial life I thought I was an extrovert, but I was really just an alcoholic.”

Saliers goes on to explain that, due to the overconsumption of alcohol, herbehavior eventually turned unruly. Soon, it started to become a liability forthe band.

“Amy can attest to how terrible it was when I was drinking,” she shared. “Allthe excuses I made, my irresponsibility, not showing up [to work]. But I wasterrified. I think all alcoholics are terrified to admit that they’realcoholics.”

Added Saliers: “Everybody knew I was just f****d up and dying, and Amy wasgoing to quit the band. Everything was falling apart for me and I tried tohide it so much — and you just can’t. “

After Ray made multiple attempts to intervene, Saliers’ family and friendseventually staged an intervention that led her to spend three months in rehab.Looking back, she says the experience saved her life.

“It’s the hardest f** thing I’ve ever done,” she says of getting sober.”It’s so hard sometimes, you just wanna get out, you know, quickly, and youcan’t anymore. You have to sit through a lot of discomfort and the other thingI’m learning now is I lost a whole chunk of my development — intellectualdevelopment, my evolution as a human being. I just deprived myself of that inthat time that I was drinking so hard.”

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“So, now I feel a lot of catching up, and feel a lot of unworthiness becauseI’m behind,” she explained. “But to be sober, to wake up feeling good, to knowthat you’re not self-destructing, to know that you can be, like, now I’maccountable to Amy, responsible to do us. To all the people and to myfamily. I never would have had my wife [Tristin Chipman]; she would have leftme, she was going to. Or my child. All the most beautiful things in life havecome from sobriety.”

Ray and Saliers, whose latest album Look Long was released in April,couldn’t help but acknowledge their contributions to advancing LGBTQ rightsand visibility in music as well.

Despite their iconic status in the community, both admit that they still dealwith internalized homophobia.

Ray and Saliers giving an intimate performance at Eddie’s Attic in Decatur,Georgia in 2018. (Photo: R. Diamond/Getty Images)

“I came up with feeling, at some point, the bubble was bursting, I was feelingself-hatred about being so masculine,” Ray explained of coming to terms withher sexuality when she was younger.

“It’s internalized homophobia,” she added. “It means you’re scared of what youreally are and sometimes you don’t want to face it. I think when you’re young,you don’t really know what it means.”

For lesbians of her generation, who she says felt pressured by societal normsto remain closeted, Ray says losing that emotional baggage takes work — which,she says, is in stark contrast with today’s queer generation that oftencelebrates identities rather than suppressing them.

“For us, it’s kinda like, we were just not able to celebrate [being queer] forso long that we got conditioned to that,” she said. “We were taught that youdon’t celebrate it.”

“We didn’t know what the word gay meant, really, when we were kids,” shecontinued. “Now when you come out, you understand that there’s sexuality andthere’s gender, and that’s different … The thing that helped me the most whenI got older was, all of a sudden, having all this language to talk about whereI was at.”

Saliers added that the queer community was key to not only her sobriety butalso her coming-out journey.

“People who are coming out [today] don’t have to deal so much with the self-hatred and self-homophobia that I still deal with,” Saliers says. “Some of theyoung people I know who come out, they’re overjoyed and happy, and they didn’t have to fight this internal battle.”

“The influence, the power of these systemic structures that affect us: thechurch, social norms, binary thinking, fear about fluidity in so many ways,you take a step back and look at the power of those forces on us. That’s whywe need community,” she says. “Together we can navigate that, tackle that, andaffirm our validity as human beings, our dignity. That’s why we needcommunity.”

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LaLa Kent will never forget the pain of losing her father.

In April 2019, the Vanderpump Rules star said goodbye to her dad and sharedon Instagram that her world had “crumbled.” As a way to get through the grief,LaLa said she began drinking non-stop from morning until night.

“It was how I was coping,” the Bravo star exclusively shared with E! news.”When I went on the full on binge drinking for I believe it was three or fourdays straight, I just woke up with that feeling of being out of control, notknowing what I did, just the guilt and the shame and that was the moment Isaid I’m taking my life back. I’m not living one more day this way.”

Now, the 32-year-old is celebrating three years and 11 months of sobriety.She’s also marking National Recovery Month by sharing her story in hopes ofinspiring those in need.

Before, LaLa said she would go out for a night on the town and be unable toremember what happened the next day. But now, as a mom to 17-month-oldOcean the reality star says she is “present for every single moment” oflife, including all of her daughter’s milestones.

National Recovery Month 2021 Stories of Inspiration

“The fact that my child will never see me in an altered state, that’s justamazing,” she said. “I get to sit here and just remember her hands or thefirst time we went to a barbecue and she got in the pool. I remember everydetail.”

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She also said she’s more alert when she films Vanderpump Rules. According tothe Bravo star, she takes a beat to listen and isn’t “so quick to go in.” Atthe same time, if someone says something that she doesn’t agree with, “I’mpopping up.”

“I do have this internal battle all the time because my line of work doesn’trepresent what my program represents,” she explained. “I’m going into thisenvironment and I am speaking my truth, but at the same time, I go into theserooms where it’s all about becoming a better person. It’s a conflict.”

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In the past three years, Lala said her past and present co-stars—includingStassi Schroder , Katie Maloney and Scheana Marie —have beensupportive of her sobriety. ****

Vanderpump Rules Season 10: Everything We Know

“It’s nice when people take a step back and realize, ‘Wow! Lala goes intoevery moment without any liquid to calm her nerves,'” Lala shared. “I wouldsay those three have been incredible since I started this journey.”

Andrew Toth/Getty Images for Brent Shapiro Foundation

Earlier this month, Stassi and Katie joined Lala as she was honored with theSpirit of Sobriety Award from the Brent Shapiro Foundation, a non-profit whosemission is to save lives through awareness and effective programs thatincentivize kids to abstain from drugs and alcohol.

While she was the honoree for a special evening, Lala said the high schoolstudents working on their own sobriety deserved credit at the event.

“We all say that the youth are our future,” she said. “I really look at themdifferently, especially since becoming a mom. I don’t know any otherfoundation that exists who does what the Brent Shapiro Foundation does.”

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Perhaps the youngest member Lala hopes to leave an impression on is her owndaughter. As Ocean grows into a young girl, her mom hopes she knows that womenhave all the power in the world.

“If you want something, you could most certainly get it,” she said whenrecalling the advice she passes on. “The hardest thing I ever did in my lifeis the proudest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I hope that when she growsup, she sees that she can truly do anything in the entire world.”

And when Lala begins to think about what her dad would say about her progress,she can’t help but light up.

“I know that he’s just beaming up there,” she said. “Even though I miss him somuch, he’s doing work for me up there. The blessings that have come into mylife since my dad has been gone, I will say I thank him pretty frequently.”

(E! and Bravo are part of the NBCUniversal family)

Peacock is live now! Check out NBCU’s streaming service here.

Bob Saget’s friends, family and former co-stars turned out for a cause closeto the actor’s heart on Wednesday night in Beverly Hills. Jimmy Kimmel, JohnMayer and Jeff Ross stepped in to host “Cool Comedy Hot Cuisine,” theScleroderma Research Foundation’s fundraising event which was spearheaded bythe Full House star for 30 years. Saget’s sister Gay died from scleroderma,a rare and often fatal disease, in 1994.

“These bookings have really improved vastly since Bob passed away,” Kimmelquipped on stage as he got the night started.

Regina Hall, Rosie O’Donnell, Kathy Griffin, Norman Lear, Lori Loughlin, JohnStamos, Jodie Sweetin, Joel McHale, Kevin Nealon, Seth Green and Howie Mandelwere among the famous guests in attendance. The event, which was co-chaired bySaget’s wife Kelly Rizzo, also served as a tribute to the beloved comedian.Rizzo and Saget’s daughters were together at the event.

Kelly Rizzo and Lori Loughlin attend “Cool Comedy Hot Cuisine: A Tribute toBob Saget” at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. (Photo: Getty Images)

“What’s so fun about tonight, the only thing that’s fun about it, is we get toshow Bob we wanted to do this,” Kimmel continued, adding: “Everyone shouldhave a friend like Bob Saget. Tonight’s a tribute but it’s also a celebration.… You didn’t really know Bob until you saw him host a Scleroderma Researchdinner. That was the true Bob Saget.”

After dinner and a live auction, the comedy portion of the night featuredstandup sets by Nealon, Mandel and surprise guest Dave Chappelle. Saget andChappelle were friends for decades, ever since the former’s surprising cameoin 1998’s Half Baked. The memorable scene in the stoner comedy depictedSaget less as TV’s dad, and more the raunchy jokester those close to him knewwell.

Chappelle took the stage after making sure everyone’s phones were locked away.He began by going through most of his current material, recounting when he wasattacked four months ago at the Hollywood Bowl. The comic called out the NewYork Post for for doing an interview with the man who knocked him to theground. (Isaiah Lee told the paper he was “triggered” by the comedian’s jokesabout the LGBTQ community and homelessness as he’s bisexual.) Chappelle gotlaughs from the famous crowd recalling how Chris Rock came out after thestunning moment and joked the assailant was Will Smith .

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But it was the end of Chappelle’s set that was touching. The comedian played a”penultimate” message that Saget sent him months before the actor’s death. Inthe video, Sagetes Chappelle on “doing the impossible” with hisaccomplishments and calls him one of the “sweetest” and “most honest” peoplehe ever met.

Chappelle said he received the message at a time when he really needed to hearthose things, calling Saget “af***ing fantastic human being.” The comediansaid it was clear Saget “is in this room tonight.”

“This night is important to him and I wouldn’t miss it for the world,”Chappelle declared.

The evening concluded with a performance by Mayer, who was emotionalthroughout the event. He played a few of “Bob’s favorite songs,” beginningwith “Who Says” — with a very special guitar.

Mayer told the audience that he was playing the guitar Saget used during hislast show in Florida. Rizzo tracked it down, bought it and gifted it to Mayer.The singer said it’s one of his most prized possessions.

Saget was found dead in his Florida hotel room on Jan. 9. The actor was in themiddle of a comedy tour and had performed a gig hours earlier. Saget’s causeof death was the result of blunt head trauma after he likely fell backwardsalone in his hotel room. He was 65.

In one of his final interviews, Saget proudly talked about his work with theScleroderma Research Foundation. “I’ve done over 30 years of benefits andwe’ve raised over $50 million,” he shared. “It’s one of my life’s work.”

Scleroderma is a group of rare diseases that involve the hardening andtightening of the skin. It may also cause problems in the blood vessels,internal organs and digestive tract, according to Mayo Clinic. There is nocure, but the Scleroderma Research Foundation is hoping to change that.Wednesday’s event raised over $1 million, something Saget would clearly be